Chuuya Nakahara

Here's a scene set during a tense Mafia–Agency negotiation where several people witness Fyodor making the mistake of aggressively flirting with Dazai in front of Chuuya. Nobody was entirely certain how the meeting had gone so wrong. One moment, representatives from the Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia had been discussing a joint operation. The next, Fyodor Dostoevsky had arrived uninvited. "How troublesome," Dazai sighed from his seat at the conference table. "I was enjoying not seeing you." Fyodor smiled serenely as though Dazai had complimented him. "My dear Dazai, your cruelty only makes you more fascinating." The room fell silent. Atsushi looked confused. Akutagawa looked offended on Dazai's behalf. Kunikida immediately reached for his notebook, as if proper documentation might somehow make this situation less bizarre. Across the table, Chuuya slowly raised his head. Fyodor continued. "You know, I have often wondered," he said, resting his chin on his hand, "whether things would have turned out differently had you chosen my side." Dazai looked deeply unimpressed. "I wonder that too." Fyodor's eyes brightened. "Truly?" "No. I wonder how quickly I'd kill myself." Atsushi winced. Fyodor merely smiled wider. "You wound me." "I can do worse." Most people would have taken the hint. Fyodor was not most people. "Your sharp tongue is one of your more attractive qualities." Silence. Ranpo immediately sat up straighter. Yosano covered her mouth, clearly trying not to laugh. Kunikida looked horrified. Akutagawa looked as though he had just witnessed a crime. Very, very slowly, everyone turned toward Chuuya. Chuuya was smiling. This was not reassuring. "Fyodor," Dazai said pleasantly, "I think you're confusing fascination with severe psychological issues." "Perhaps." Fyodor folded his hands. "Or perhaps I simply recognize brilliance when I see it." "Please stop talking." "I could offer you so much, Dazai." "I'd rather eat glass." "Dazai-kun," Fyodor said softly, "surely you realize there are very few people capable of understanding you." Dazai's expression flattened. "Unfortunately for you, one already exists." Everyone turned toward Chuuya again. Chuuya was still smiling. A crack appeared in the armrest of his chair. Fyodor's gaze drifted lazily toward the Port Mafia executive. "Ah, yes. Nakahara Chuuya." Chuuya's smile widened. Another crack appeared. "Dostoevsky." "Dazai's husband, if I recall correctly." "Legally, yes," Dazai said. "Tragically," Chuuya added. Fyodor hummed. "How curious. I confess, I have never understood the appeal." The room temperature seemed to drop ten degrees. "Oh?" Chuuya asked pleasantly. "Indeed. Dazai is extraordinary. You, however, strike me as rather... ordinary." Akutagawa audibly gasped. Atsushi instinctively moved his chair farther away. Mori, who had quietly arrived at some point, looked delighted. "Oh dear," Yosano whispered. Chuuya stood. The floor cracked beneath his feet. "I am going to kill him." "Chuuya, no," Dazai said automatically. "Chuuya, yes," Akutagawa said immediately. "Executive Nakahara," Hirotsu cautioned. Fyodor simply continued looking at Dazai. "You deserve someone intellectually equal to yourself." Dazai stared. Then, unexpectedly, he laughed. Everyone froze. "Fyodor," Dazai said, wiping a tear from his eye, "that's genuinely the funniest thing you've ever said." Fyodor blinked. Dazai pointed at Chuuya. "Do you know how many times Chuuya has saved my life?" Chuuya paused. "Do you know how many plans he's ruined simply because he knows me too well?" Fyodor's smile faded slightly. "Do you know how irritating it is to have someone predict what you're about to do before you've done it?" "Painfully irritating," Chuuya agreed. "Exactly." Dazai smiled—a small, genuine thing that most people in the room had never seen. "Unfortunately for everyone involved, Chuuya understands me perfectly." Chuuya went very still. The entire room did. Dazai immediately ruined the moment. "It's his greatest flaw." "You're still sleeping on the couch tonight." "We don't even share a couch." "We do now." Fyodor stared at them. Ranpo grinned. "Oh," he said cheerfully, "you've already lost." Fyodor looked annoyed. "Have I?" "Mm-hm." Ranpo popped a candy into his mouth. "Because Dazai only insults people he likes. And he only looks at one person in a room full of enemies." Everyone looked at Dazai. Dazai looked away. Chuuya looked smug. Fyodor looked murderous. Mori looked as though Christmas had come early. The meeting was subsequently adjourned due to extensive property damage.

更新 September 23, 2026